Confuzzled

All my life i wanted to live abroad .. Every single day of my life.. That was my dream. 

So life taught me another lesson.. Fun! My book of lessons is growing quite abit, impressive stuff. 

As i grow older, year by year, i realize something that sort of surprises me. I feel more attached to home. Which if you told me would happen a few years ago i would literally laugh out loud. 

No matter how hard i try to convince myself that i can build a life anywhere i go, there is just no way for me to believe it. 

Living abroad has its perks, its freedom, but for some reason it is an aquired taste. Sadly, not for me. 

The older i get, the more i want to settle down and have a certain level of stability. I want babies and a home that feels complete.. Is that hard to ask? 

Being back home for the holidays is a blessing and a curse.. I want time to stand still, i want to cherrish every moment, at the same time i dont want to settle into it all, the bandaid will hurt too much once its time to rip it off. 

Life really finds ways to challenge us, i refuse to give up, no matter how challenging it gets, how emotional i am, i will survive and build the life i always wanted. 
Watch me. 
*writes lesson #5000 into book of life* 

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Late Night, Scattered Thoughts

Do you get those days where you live in a moment over and over again, one from a different time in your life? That memory repeating itself, over and over and over, your poor little heart is victimized by constant attacks by your brain, over and over again. Where is the button? How do i switch it off? you keep asking…. stop please! Make it stop!

Yet, Still, you find yourself in a little box, trapped, just you and that memory. Alone.

Yeah .. you’ve been there. We all have.

Now, that memory might be a painful one today, causing your heart to race, your lungs to compress and every little tiny cell in your body to hurt. I will tell you this…

One day, once you come to peace with it, this memory will be a welcomed little package, filled with smiles and a breath of fresh air from your daily routine. Don’t believe me? just wait for it. Remember me when it happens.

Man-kind is funny that way, we were made to adapt. Our bodies have their own little routine, even though you think you are in control, you really are not. No matter what you do, how much you try, your mind, body & soul will adapt when they are ready to, in their own sweet time, All you can do is distract yourself while they do their job.. which is? …. To get your sweet little behind off the ground, back on your feet, ready to face the world’s struggles once again.

Anyway, back to our memory.. As i grow older, i learn to appreciate my brain so much, the way it works .. My personality fascinates me, so does my mind..  It drives me insane when i realize how, every single time i think i’m in control, it turns out my mind, my personality, my whole being is taking over .. No matter how hard i try, i say “ok, this time i will do things differently!” haha! it never works! my personality always wins, my mind always takes over all my actions! It’s rather beautiful if you ask me.

How can a mind turn something painful into something so warm and pleasant. Amazing!

When it happens to you, i assure you, fascination will dawn over you.. and a smile will brighten your face up.

Now that that’s off my chest, i shall grab my kindle and a cup of coffee and spend a few pleasant hours on my balcony, reading.

Till next time,

Hugs,

TheLittleRedBow.

Random thoughts (1)

My thoughts recently have been all over the place, randomness to the extreme.. but what i’ve been noticing quite often is the excitement of a new experience, in many people’s lives around me as well as my own.

Let me clarify, or rather let me elaborate.. i’m sure you’ve all felt that pinch in your stomach, that tingly sensation, also known as ‘butterflies’ .. how do you feel about that? I for one, love it.. its exciting, makes me feel so young and fresh.. so full of life.

It’s been a while since i had this butterfly feeling, life was kind of dull for quite a long time.. Something happened recently in my life, gave me that mini butterfly sensation.. it reminded me that life is so extremely exciting, such a fresh feeling.. gives me more to look forward to!

Things like this, people take for granted,  many don’t appreciate the beauty behind those little things.. life is full of opportunities, each more exciting than the other!

Felt like sharing this in a random mini post..

Hope you are all well,

Warm hugs♥

The little Red Bow