Isn’t Human Nature rather funny?
i believe it is ..
Us Humans, we lose ourselves in moments of weakness, moments filled with emotions, only to be crushed in the end by something more powerful, something no doctor has found a cure for…that disease.. that pain..the crushing feeling like no other, that of a broken heart.
I’m writing this today, not to cast a negative depressing shadow on this matter, on the contrary, i’m writing this in hope of finding, to put it in plain words, a cure, a way out of this vicious cycle that I’ve witnessed many go through. There must be a way out of the pain, a way faster than time. .. Time.
Time heals all… they teach us.. time may heal.. but time never tells you when your wound will heal.. we wait, and wait, keeping ourselves busy, trying to get out of the ups and downs of recovery, only to wake up one day feeling like the wound is as fresh as ever, and its back in that cycle, holding on to the belief that one day, hopefully soon, by some miracle, you wake up and its gone.
Have you ever thought of finding a better way? Have you ever thought that this just isn’t good enough? Ask yourself, “what do i want for myself?”
Time can help us, but we need to also help ourselves. That extra push will come a long way in our process.
Here is what i have come up with so far, that has helped me personally overcome, maybe not my pain as a whole, but at least overcome months of painful days, with a smile.
Our minds control how we feel.. if you wake up, and feel weak one day, you feel like you just want to give up, get up… look in the mirror.. smile.. then remember all the times in your life where you had that same smile on your face, remember how it felt, feels nice doesn’t it? you want more days like those don’t you? …. wipe those tears… that feeling… that is enough to get you through today… that alone, is reason enough to live another day, to hope for better days… combine your hope with a smile, and your day will be a positive one.. trust me.
Keeping ourselves busy is key, but there are many ways to do so, some may harm us more than help us. What are they? lets see shall we..
- Filling the gap with a friend, family member or even someone temporary (Rebound).. as much as this might help us in the mean time, it will hurt us in the long run.. why? because this is a temporary solution, this person will eventually go back to his/her routine, leaving you, not only attached, but extra vulnerable and lonely. Even though it may not sound possible trust me it is, eventually those people go back to their normal lives, if not a week from now, a month or two, and you will feel like you need to start from scratch.. The trick is to rely on yourself from the start, with a little support every now and then from the people close to you. That way, you will grow stronger, faster and in a healthier manner.
- Staying in bed/ at home watching movies all day: as much as i personally enjoy this option, its not the healthiest or the wisest choice. it might keep your mind occupied but it definitely won’t heal. All this method does is temporarily take your mind off what hurts, once you’re done with the movie, back in bed, trying to sleep.. the pain will come back, and your mind will torture you once again, unless you fall asleep watching the movie, and if luck is by your side, wake up the next morning.
- Drowning yourself in a job you are not happy with: keep yourself busy, that is what you are supposed to do, but in order to get out of a depression, you need to be doing something that makes you feel, if not happy, at least content. Many people drown themselves in their work, and then wonder why they are still so unhappy, that’s because they are not enjoying what they are doing, so instead of getting themselves out of this unhappy dark hole, they are digging deeper into it.
Now .. for ways that might actually help us get rid of the negative clouds and shadows..
- Find a hobby that makes you smile: one that puts you in a meditating sort of mood.. help it grow.. trust me it will do wonders for you. i pursued my love for fashion, currently working on my own fashion designs, maybe one day i will own my own fashion label, who knows?
- Try something new: this could be anything at all, from a new haircut, to an activity, like maybe join a dance class, road trip, or if you feel adventurous try sky diving! i hear its an amazing experience. I personally tried loads, new haircut, dance class, workshops, meeting new people.. it helps to get out of your routine.
- Positive thoughts: this might sound lame, but it works.. remind yourself of how good you are, all the good things you deserve.. you are worth more than you think.. give yourself some credit… remember the good person you truly are.. and how lucky you are to be alive, and able to have another chance to live the life of your dreams.
The list can go on.. there are so many healthy ways to support yourself while time does its magic.. waiting will not help you.. but living, and allowing time to do its work while you live… that my darlings is how its done.
I may not have found a cure, but i try every day to find a way to make the next day even better.. until one day i will hopefully be free of this cloud.. and the sun will be out again.. shining bright.. with a rainbow and maybe some unicorns… who knows?
Until Next time my loves,
The Little Red Bow.